How to Build ‘Hard Hope’ in Everyday Life with Curiosity at Its Core

Insights from neuro and behavioral science

Hope isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skill and a habit.

In an increasingly unstable world, hope can seem naive or even reckless. However, new research by Gallup shows that it’s the number one thing people need from leaders, even more than trust. The problem? Not all hope is the same.

Soft hope is passive—the belief that things will improve on their own. Hard hope is different. It acknowledges struggle, faces complexity head-on, and chooses to act anyway. It’s the kind of hope that persists when things look bleak, building solutions rather than just longing for them.

I was reminded of this at a tech conference in Munich, just weeks before the German election. Sitting next to a well-dressed businessman, I struck up a polite conversation—until politics came up.

His demeanor changed. His body tensed. His frustration sharpened his words as he launched into a tirade against a particular politician. My instinct was to push back, to challenge his arguments. But then I made a choice. This wasn’t a moment to react—it was a moment to be curious.

So I listened. Not to agree, not to validate, but to understand. As he vented, I let the conversation unfold. Eventually, the intensity softened, and we shifted—just a little. We didn’t reach common ground, but we created space for something different. The hard work of not reacting and deeply listening with curiosity created new spaces for hope. 

Otto Scharmer’s Four Levels of Listening show how we can move from surface-level reactions to meaningful understanding:

1. Downloading – Hearing only what confirms what we already believe.

2. Factual Listening – Taking in new data, but keeping it at a distance.

3. Empathic Listening – Stepping into another’s worldview, understanding their emotions and experiences.

4. Generative Listening – Engaging with deep curiosity and co-creating new solutions together.

   
   

Most conversations today, especially on social media, get stuck in Downloading or Factual Listening. 

But it is in Empathic and Generative Listening, where we engage with people’s experiences rather than just their arguments, where what I would call Hard Hope flourishes. I’m not saying it is easy, but I have found that the rewards are worth the effort. 

Hard hope isn’t about blind optimism. It’s about staying engaged, asking better questions, and refusing to let fear or frustration have the final word.

The Science of Hard Hope

Hard Hope is rooted in neuroscience, with curiosity at its core.

Curiosity rewires the brain to handle uncertainty better. It triggers dopamine, making problem-solving more engaging, and quiets the amygdala, reducing fear-based reactions. It also strengthens the prefrontal cortex, enhancing critical thinking, emotional regulation, and long-term planning. Curiosity-driven exploration activates regions like the striatum and precuneus, improving attention and memory formation. In short, curiosity shifts us from fear to possibility.

Hope is needed now more than ever. A polycrisis of global challenges collides with social divisions - fueling fear, cynicism, and disengagement. When uncertainty overwhelms us, we freeze, shut down, or assume nothing will change. Hard Hope doesn’t deny these realities—it confronts them. Unlike passive optimism, it demands action. It acknowledges fear and frustration but refuses to let them define the future.

Thomas Coombes and his Hope-Based Communication approach remind us that hope isn’t just optimism—it’s a strategy for change and action.

Five Ways to Take Action

Here’s where to start. There are examples near you, too. 

1. Create and Participate in Safe Spaces for Honest Dialogue

• Seek out or organize spaces where people can have real, face-to-face conversations across differences.

• For example, you could host a small gathering, join a local discussion group, or find community-led events that focus on listening and building bridges. Here are some impactful initiatives that facilitate these conversations: Deutschland Spricht, Dining across the Divide, and Future Caucus.

  
  

2 . Engage in Local, Hands-On Cooperation

• Work on projects that require collaboration with people who may think differently from you.

• Example: Instead of debating climate action online, work on a community project—planting trees, volunteering, or supporting local initiatives—where cooperation builds trust. Here are two inspiring examples of this in action: Give Something Back to Berlin and Jane’s Walk.

3. Resist the Algorithm: Take Control of Your Information Diet

• Be intentional about who and what you listen to. Seek out balanced perspectives and make space for long-form, nuanced discussions.

• Example: Set a goal to read one thoughtful piece weekly from a source outside your usual bubble—then discuss it with a friend. Ground News is a platform that makes it easy to compare news sources, read between the lines of media bias, and get out of your filter bubble.

4 . Build Trust in Small, Repeated Interactions

• Neuroscience tells us trust isn’t built through grand gestures—it’s built through consistency. Small, positive interactions add up over time.

• Example: Support local businesses, thank a politician you think is doing a good job navigating polarization, talk to neighbors, or simply show up regularly in the same community spaces to strengthen relationships.

5. Commit to Action, Even When the Path Isn’t Clear

• Hard hope means moving forward before we have all the answers.

• Example: If you’re passionate about rebuilding democratic trust, mentor young leaders (Girls Gearing Up and Rock your Life), support independent journalism (The Guardian’s Journalist Visits and The Observatory), or advocate for policies that strengthen civic engagement (National Civic League and Democracy Without Borders).

Keeping Hopeful: How to keep acting even when things seem tough

Choosing action, curiosity, and persistence when things feel overwhelming can take physical, mental, or emotional tolls.

Brain science and nature give us clues on keeping hope alive without running ourselves into the ground. 

Some of this may seem obvious, but it can be easy to forget when you're in the thick of things. 

Think of the below as a quick checklist to help you stay grounded, and keep going for the long haul, and seek out local opportunities (or create them).

1. Get Outside—Nature is the Best Reset Button

   
   

   When you feel overwhelmed, step outside. Even just 10 minutes in nature can lower stress hormones, improve focus, and boost problem-solving skills. Walking through a park, sitting by a tree, or taking deep breaths in fresh air can help your brain reset and see things more clearly.

2. Celebrate Small Wins—Your Brain Needs Them

   
   

   Hard Hope means playing the long game, but our brains are wired for short-term rewards. If we don’t acknowledge progress, we burn out. Set small, achievable milestones and celebrate them, even if the more significant challenge is still ahead. Little victories keep dopamine (your brain’s motivation fuel) flowing and help you stay engaged.

3. Rest Like It’s Part of the Work—Because It Is

   
   

   Being “on” all the time doesn’t make you stronger—it makes you exhausted. Good sleep is essential, but so is deep rest while awake. Try breathwork, meditation, or even a few minutes of doing absolutely nothing to give your brain a break.

4. Don’t Do It Alone—We’re Wired for Connection

   
   

   Hard hope is easier to carry when we share it. Spending time with people who lift you up—whether they’re friends, family, or a supportive community—helps regulate stress and renew energy. Laughter, real conversations, and even just knowing someone else gets it can make all the difference.

5. Think Like Nature—Seasons, Not Sprints

   
   

   Nature doesn’t push nonstop—it has cycles of growth, rest, and renewal. You should, too. Some seasons are for action, others for learning, reflecting, or simply enjoying life. Sustainable change comes from knowing when to push and when to pause.

   
   

Hard hope isn’t about pushing until you break—it’s about learning how to sustain the energy to keep going. Take care of yourself so you can take care of what matters.

The future isn’t shaped by those who retreat in fear but by those who train their brains to stay engaged, curious, and take action. 

The foundation of that hope starts with something simple: one conversation, one act of trust, one step toward connection at a time. 

What’s one way you practiced hard hope this week? Share it with #hardhope. 

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This article was prepared by Lisa Witter.